Total Eclipse of the Splash

 

We see athletes chomping on mouth guards all the time. They are kind of uncomfortable, so flipping them off your teeth and gnawing on them, but I am concerned that Mark Scheifele hasn't gotten out enough in Winnipeg. Despite being precariously close to North Dakota, the city has both a thriving indigenous AND immigrant community, suggesting that there are options for really good food around town (I've never been). If he were a little bit further south, though, I would say yes, absolutely, your mouthguard is probably more flavorful than anything you might eat in town. 

Total Eclipse of the Splash

 

Oooh, commemorative ticket! The next best thing to actual tickets! 

Total Eclipse of the Splash

 

It was a big deal when the Predators picked up Stamkos, but when did Sidney Crosby go to Nashville?

Total Eclipse of the Splash

 

The Jets are hosting the Kraken tonight in Winnipeg! Come see Mark Scheifele at his most milquetoast! Based on the photo choice of a player that the Jets have had on their payroll, it had to have been a choice to pick a photo to promote this game in which he looked, I don't know, anxious? Maybe he isn't worried about the Kraken (and who would be?) but rather about tomorrow's game against the Flames, which has been branded 90's night. 

The 90s, famously, weren't great for the Jets. 

Total Eclipse of the Splash

 

You know what? The Utah Mammoth announced their new nickname within the last few weeks, and the franchise has already moved on. A good franchise recognizes that while a new name is fun, it's the hockey that is important. Good for you, Utah Mammoth, for not being self indulgent and sticking to the hockey. 

The name is fine.

Total Eclipse of the Splash

 

Man, times change, huh? It's been 25 years since the Bruins picked in the lottery, which is incredible. After such a long run of success, one has to believe that they felt like nothing went right for them this year. It's hard for them, in a way things haven't been challenging in a long time. Sheesh, they couldn't even move up in the lottery this year. 

Total Eclipse of the Splash

 

The Sharks really, really, really need to underscore how much they appreciate the fans that are willing to continue showing up in support of a team that has a top story featuring their recent 8-1 loss to an instate rival. God bless, Sharks fans, and your extraordinary patience. 

Total Eclipse of the Splash

 

If you didn't know, the New Jersey Devils were actually named after a mythical creature roaming the woods of south Jersey in the 19th and early 20th century. There are some theories that, if it actually existed, it may have been a large bat. 

But kudo's to New Jersey for spotlighting the drummer from Slipknot to really lean into the whole "dark arts" vibe a lot of people associate the name with. 

Total Eclipse of the Splash

 

Listen, I understand that spending a week in January in the Midwest can bring anyone down a bit, so I'm not going to make light about the Canucks fighting some seasonal depression as noted in the headline, but I would like to call out the reverse side of the "West Coast swing". Oh no, we have to stay up late to catch the end of the game against the Ducks? Well, in Vancouver, you better hope the games are on the weekend, because otherwise your kids won't be home from school until the 2nd period if the game is on the East Coast. 

A Monday game at 430 in the afternoon is crazy, is all I'm saying. 

(Tweet of the Moment is no more, because social media is a hellscape, and not every team is yet on BlueSky. I still like a random, quick peek at hockey online, so now, we are looking at team home "splash" pages and turning that into whatever this is. Welcome to 2025)